Updyke

John Updike died two days ago. I didn't find out till today. That's what happens when you don't pay attention to the outside world. I'm surprised I even found out though- all the articles I skimmed today online were about the fucking keyboard player from Lynyrd Skynyrd dying. I can't even think of a single Skynyrd song with a keyboard in it. The guys name was Billy Powell. I hate that band anyway. They might have the best lyrics in music history though.
Here's an excerpt from Sweet Home Alabama. It was written in response to Neil Young songs like Alabama and Southern Man, which deal with racism and slavery and bible touting in the south.

Well I heard Mr. Young sing about her
Well I heard ol' Neil put her down
Well I hope Neil Young will remember
A southern man don't need him round anyhow

Wow, way to put ol' Neil in his place. And to think, Ronnie Van Zant, you died in a plane crash, in your "prime." And people think this is a good song. Jesus Christ.
My point is, John Updike died.
I told Breanne about it and she was surprised. She didn't realize he was so old. Then we talked about it for a bit and I realized she was thinking of John Irving. All confusion could have been avoided if I'd just said the keyboardist for Lynyrd Skynyrd had died.
"Not Billy Powell!"